The Bachelor S20, Episode 2: Haters Gonna Hate

Well Ladies, I have decided to blog episode 2 of The Bachelor!grammadance

I can not promise that I will ever post again but I felt the need to highlight a few memorable moments.
Youre-welcome_zps3737cc66

Chris Harrison showed up in this getup.
Chris Harrison
Jubilee Sharpe
Lauren Himle

And announced that the there would be a friendly competition to win extra time with Ben.. The science portion of the competition was interesting…

Geography was up next. Indiana anyone?
Indiana?
No

They also played a round of b-ball and then Mandi and Amber raced to the finish line to see who would be Ben’s homecoming queen.
Don't care

Mandi won.
who

In the meantime, back at the sorority house. The date card arrived.

Did someone say date card??

And the one on one date goes to…

Caila!

Olivia real mad

That went well….   Back at the cocktail party, Ben was getting busy.
Jennifer The Bachelor
Jubilee Bachelor
JoJo The Bachelor

And JoJo gets the rose on the group date.
JoJo Rose

Ice Cube and Kevin Hart showed up to promote their movie.
no one cares

And to accompany Caila and Ben on the first portion of their date.
Kevin Hart

Their date was boring. At the end, Caila got the rose. Note, all of the food on their plate.
Caila Bachelor

And again when they are leaving.
Caila

Do you think they hit up craft service instead?
anigif_enhanced-7585-1403791112-3

Moving on to the next group date.

Cheers

The girls showed up at the “Love Lab” where Dr. Love tested their compatibility with Ben.
Ben Bachelor

This date was the most awkward date that I have ever been on.
Screen Shot 2016-01-18 at 3.53.50 PM

And I refuse to watch it again.sorry-not-sorry-gif

Olivia Won.

And then she won the group rose.
Group rose

Needless to say…..
Taylor Swift Haters

At the rose ceremony, LB was miserable and ended up pulling herself from the competition.
LB The Bachelor

Sorry Ben!
Not here for that
The End

The Bachelor Season 19 Season Finale Recap!! 800 Acres = 1.5 Square Miles

On the season finale of The Bachelor, the ladies visit Chris’s family in Arlington!
milesaway

Luckily for the ladies, they are staying an hour away at Hotel Julien in Dubuque.
Hotel Julien

Whitney is up first.

Whitney loves Chris, she loves his mom, she loves his sisters, she loves his dad, she probably loves the smell of his poop too…
gag

There really isn’t anything else to report back from Whitney’s time in Arlington.
when-youre-listening-to-a-boring-lecture

After Whitney leaves, Jason, the bro-in-law, drops some knowledge on Chris.

But Chris could have them both, couldn’t he?
polywedding

The bro-in-laws agree!  Polygamy it is!!

Becca is up next!

Becca

I mean…. If I was going to meet my future in-laws I might button an extra button on my shirt…. Just sayin’
Becca button

This was real cute….
Chris Soules

It looks like Becca and Whitney scored the same seat at the dinner table.
Whitney
Becca

Becca was very honest with Chris’s family.
NOt interested

Later that night, Chris went to Becca’s hotel suite and asked her some hard questions.  But unfortunately…
notthatintoyou

Chris and Whitney meet at Chris’s farm before they go on their final date.
Soules farm

Oh wait, this is their final date… Harvesting corn!

Harvesting Corn

With Chris’s dad!
Chris Soules Dad

best-date-ever

Oh wait, wrong season… Whitney is not on a beautiful island. She is in Arlington. If you are interested, here are some facts about Iowa’s corn production.
Iowa Corn

After chucking down some corn, they head to Chris’s abode to lay by the fire.
Fire chillin

The romance continues as they travel an hour to Whitney’s Hotel room to have their final make out session.
Screen Shot 2015-03-22 at 8.29.11 PM

After his time with Whitney he meets the man of his dreams, Neil Lane.
Screen Shot 2015-03-22 at 8.34.36 PM

To pick out a ring for the love of his life. Who will it be…. Becca, who may be stoned…

Or Whitney????

I guess we are about to find out. It is all happening IN THIS BARN….
barn love

Ummm, every girl who goes on The Bachelor most likely dreams of getting proposed to in a barn, with no heat, right? WRONG!!! I am pretty sure they had something a little more luxurious in mind…..

Like Barbados!
Screen Shot 2015-03-19 at 4.26.08 PM

Or maybe Tahiti?
Screen Shot 2015-03-19 at 4.24.44 PM

Fiji wouldn’t be bad..
Screen Shot 2015-03-19 at 4.24.08 PM

Antigua! I could do that.
Chris and Des

BUT YOU KNOW WHAT THEY DO NOT WANT…. THIS….
proposal

Actually it wouldn’t matter to me where I got engaged just so it wasn’t 30 below…
cold

Whitney wins, antifun robot Becca loses, and…
giphy

The END.

Click on the link below to download the fantasy league scorecard for season 19!!

The Bachelor Season 19 Fantasy League Scorecard

The Bachelor Season 19, Episode 9: Monkey Business

This week, The Bachelor was a snooze fest.
bored

So I am going to keep this short and sweet.
you're welcome

Here are some of my top moments from episode 9.

This monkey having his morning coffee.
monkey

When this monkey surprised Chris.
Chris Soules
Kaitlyn Bristowe

And then peed on him.
Monkey pee

This bathtub.
Rose tub

When Whitney and Chris did this.
Whitney Bischoff

This dress was not a highlight.
Whitney bischoff

When Becca told Chris her big secret.
Becca Tilley

These getups.
Chris Harrison Chris Soules
Rose Ceremony

And when Chris sent Kaitlyn home in this minivan.
Kaitlyn Bristowe

Hopefully Chris Harrison has something up his sleeve for next weeks “Women Tell All” episode.
chris-harrison-giph-

Here are The Bachelor fantasy league draft results for episode 8 & 9.

Here are some photos I dug up from this seasons “Women tell All” taping.
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The Bachelor Season 19, Episode 8: Wild Mustang

Monday night on The Bachelor, Becca and Chris spent their one-on-one date on this couch.
Becca couch

And then made out on the roof…

lame

Back at the pad, Britt tells the ladies that she packed her bags and she is going to leave before the rose ceremony.

She followed thru with her plan and ended things with Chris.

At the rose ceremony, Chris sent Carly home.

Rich

It’s HOMETOWN DATE TIME!!!!! And Boring Becca is up first!  Welcome to Shreveport Chris!!

Does her shirt remind you of anything??
dressemoji

After their heartfelt reunion, they took it to the swamp.
Swamp
swamp

And then Becca took Chris home to meet her family.

Lesbian

Chris wraps up the date with a surprise Ferris Wheel ride.

Next up, Chicago, where Whitney gives Chris a tour of her work place.

JADE man room

And then takes him to meet her family.

Chris asks Whitney’s sister for her blessing.

Whitney bought a pricey bottle of wine in Napa and has been waiting to open it with the man she is going to marry.
Screen Shot 2015-02-22 at 1.51.23 PM

So she decides to open it with Chris?!?!?!?!?!?
bad decision

After Chris’s date with Whitney he heads to Phoenix, AZ to meet up with Kaitlyn in this lovely alleyway.
Screen Shot 2015-02-22 at 2.15.53 PM

Kaitlyn takes Chris to a recording studio to produce a rap song. We all know how much Kaitlyn loves a white man that can rap.

And Chris Nailed it.
Screen Shot 2015-02-22 at 2.18.57 PM
syke

After their studio session, they head to Kaitlyn’s parents winter home to meet her family.

Ummm, I want this in my backyard!
Screen Shot 2015-02-22 at 2.27.58 PM

After dinner, Kaitlyn had a surprise for Chris.
Screen Shot 2015-02-22 at 2.30.44 PM

He loves it so much that he dirty dances her.

Jade is up next! Welcome to Gering, Nebraska Chris!
Screen Shot 2015-02-22 at 2.41.24 PM

Jade’s brother Zach doesn’t think she is ready to settle down.

After Chris meets her family, Jade and Chris go back to his swanky “motel” room.
Screen Shot 2015-02-22 at 3.00.30 PM

Where Jade dropped the bomb.


no

uncomfortable-gif

And then there was this VIDEO, where Jade bares it all!

stop

If that didn’t seal her fate, then her white shoes did.
Screen Shot 2015-02-22 at 3.35.03 PM

Later Jade!
bye

Carly Jade

I will post the fantasy league results tomorrow! Until then, have a great night!!

ABC The Bachelor Season 19, Episode 7: “It’s more like French”

The Bachelor was 5 hours this week. 5 freaking hours?!?!?! A little unnecessary? Maybe. But did I still enjoy every minute of it?
du-uh

Well, to be honest, I fast forwarded thru Chris Harrison’s interview with Kelsey and #SoulesMates and went straight to the interview with Andi.
Interview

As all of you know, Andi and Josh broke up 2 days after The Bachelor “Red Carpet” event back in January. The rumor is that Josh cheated on Andi. Let’s leave it to Chris Harrison to get to the bottom of this.

I don’t think this is how someone reacts when it is a “mutual” breakup. She is clearly distraught.

Hey Josh…
lies

______

On Sunday, Megan decided to talk to Chris about their connection. They had a mutual agreement (unlike Andi and Josh) that their connection wasn’t as strong as some of the other ladies. Megan went home…

With Megan gone, all of my draft picks have been eliminated.
ahhhhh

After Megan left the scene of the crime, Chris called off the rose ceremony.

And informed the gals that they are heading to IOWA!!!

At that moment Carly realized she is not going home…

ABC put the ladies up in a hotel in Des Moines, 2 1/2 hours away from Chris’s home town…
really?

Welcome to Iowa ladies! Can we talk about Britt’s outfit?
BRITT

The first date card arrives. Jade gets the first one-on-one date.
Jade

AND she is going to Arlington!
Arlington, IA

Arlington must have really missed Chris. They went all out for his homecoming.
Sign

Jade finally arrives after her 3 hour drive! Gorgeous!
Arlington

Chris takes Jade downtown to show her around.

While Jade is living it up in Arlington, the second date card arrives and it has Whitney’s name on it.

Sorry Whitney, Jade is the only one that will meet the parents….
Chris Parents

But that is about the only thing Jade got to do in Arlington. Well I guess she did get to go to a high school football game.
Screen Shot 2015-02-18 at 5.12.43 PM

Moving on… Chris and Whitney’s date kicked off with a cheesy photo shoot (Chris really loves himself some photo shoots).

Instead of sitting around the hotel, the ladies decide to go on a secret mission to Arlington.
Road Trip

This was the only human in sight.
Pastor

The human told them the nearest restaurant was an hour away. WRONG. Pizza Slut is only 21 miles away in Oelwein, IA. Dreams do come true.
Oelwein, IA

Nothing much happened on Whitney’s date. She got to meet his friends and then Chris had a surprise for her.
Mural

Brittany

The group date card arrives. The ladies are shocked when Kaitlyn doesn’t get the one-on-one.

On the group date, Chris takes the ladies ice skating.

ice skating Chris

Carly tells Chris that Britt is fake.  She also told him what Britt really thought of Arlington.

But then Britt came home and told Jade the exact opposite.


Carly

After Chris and the ladies freshen up, they head to West End Architectural Salvage
WEst End Salvage

Kaitlyn is panicking and frustrated over the process so Chris gives her the rose.
Kaitlyn Rose

And then Britt lost her shit and made everyone feel uncomfortable.

TBD

The Bachelor Fantasy League Scorecard – Episode 7

ABC The Bachelor Season 19, Episode 6: “Punch her in the teeth holder”

This week on The Bachelor… Kelsey is still on the floor.
Screen Shot 2015-02-12 at 10.50.07 AM

During her panic attack or ploy to get more alone time she asks Dr. Diane to get Chris. When he arrives, he tells her she looks great and gives her a pity kiss.
Kelsey Chris Kiss

Ashley I. thinks Kelsey is a phony.

Samantha doesn’t have much to say about the situation or any situation ever.
Samantha

Just a reminder, going into the rose ceremony, Britt, Carly and Whitney already have roses.
girls

Ashley I. is on the verge of a breakdown. She is scared her story isn’t sad enough to deserve a rose.
Screen Shot 2015-02-12 at 11.12.24 AM

Well don’t worry Ashley you are sadder than Makenzie and Samantha. Who are sent home by foot.

Kaitlyn is steamed he didn’t send Kelsey home.

After the rose ceremony, the girls jump on a plane and head to Deadwood, SD to meet the man of their dreams.

They arrive at their destination….
HOliday inn deadwood

What?

Cat

This week there will be a one-on-one, a group date and the dreaded two-on-one date.
snap

Becca gets the one-on-one date.
Becca

They rode horses, sat by a campfire and heated up some meat on a stick. Let’s just say it was….
boring

In the meantime, back at the Holiday Inn, the girls confront Kelsey about her being one way with Chris and one way with the woman.

The group date card arrives and reveals who will be on the two-on-one.

Kelsey and Ashley I.!!!!!!  This couldn’t have worked out better!!!
slowclap

On the group date, Chris takes the girls to Old Style Saloon #10. Where they are introduced to Big & Rich! If you are anything like me you are asking yourself “Who the hell is Big & Rich”. This should help.

Big & Rich are there to help the girls write a love song to Chris. But it looks like Britt and Megan have a different plan.

The only girl that wasn’t brutal on the mic was cruise ship singer Carly who of course nailed it.
Carly

Meanwhile, the two-on-one date card arrives. It says “Two girls, one rose, one stays, one goes. Let’s have good times in the…..”

Back at the group date, Chris takes Britt away from the wolf pack to give her a surprise.

After their hour long rendezvous, they return to this…

And this..
Kaitlyn
Carly

The next day Ashley I. is ready to take on Kelsey.

Chris takes the women to this beautiful locale.

Where they cozy up on this lovely canopy bed.
love bed

After the group bed session, Chris was attacked by Ashley I. on this dirt mound.

After she is done making out with his non-existent upper lip, she tells him what the girls think of Kelsey.
Ashley I

5 minutes later, Chris tells Kelsey what Ashley I. had to say about her.

And then shit got real.

Kelsey confronts Ashley.

Really Smart

“Sorry I am not from Pleasantville,
Pleasantville

I am from freakin’ 2014″ ~ Ashley I.
Screen Shot 2015-02-13 at 10.33.49 AM

After their verbal altercation, Ashley I. went running to Chris, who could care less.
Chris

Chris turns around and dumps her on the spot. He said he didn’t think she would like his lifestyle.

Ashely I. just dissed his #1.
ohboy

After Chris kicks Ashley I. to the curb,
later gator

production picks her bag up at the house.

I am sure she had more than one bag. Her bobby pins alone would need a full size suitcase.
bobbypins

Kelsey see’s Ashley’s breakdown and assumes she has it in the bag.
Kelsey

Sorry for your bad luck Kelsey, you are heading home too.
what

The girls go nuts!


The Bachelor fantasy league standings, episode 6

AhsleyKelsey

With Kelsey gone, the only girl I have left in the game is Megan and by the looks of the previews (thanks ABC), she is getting the boot before hometowns. boo

Enjoy the back to back nights of The Bachelor! I know I will!!!!
cool